Spring in winter

Wow is it beautiful out today, 68 degrees! I think I will go for a walk today. I have had a great couple of days, up in the chair all day, taking showers (with some help) and eating pretty well. My idea for this blog initially was to reach out to those going through this or getting ready to go through this as well as to keep my family and friends updated. To focus a bit on a few things I thought of this week to talk to those going through this. I think at the end of the journey you forget the small stuff so I thought I would start with a couple of things you should know about your first week after surgery:

1. Have someone you are comfortable with (I mean really comfortable with) to be able to help you every day- my mom comes every morning helps me get up, Kevin makes me breakfast and tea then in the afternoon my mom and dad come back to help around the house and just sit with me.
2. Get used to praying - it has been my refuge, not sure how i would have gotten through some nights and days with out prayer sometimes all night!
3. Stool softeners - take them and keep taking them!4. Have lots of button up or zip up tops - I had PJs that kind of look like boy PJs that button up the front are kind of baggie and have matching pants. This has worked fabulous! Now I have moved into yoga pants and zip up sweat shirts. I purchased a $45.00 camisole that was supposed to be pretty cool to be able to hold your drains ect in these little pouches that Velcro to the camisole - well the one I got was for a unilateral mastectomy, only had 2 pouches (I have 4 drains) that were very small and besides that you really need something baggie because you come home with this "sports bra" looking contraption that is really bulky and stuffed with gauze that really would never fit under a camisole. You wear this bra continuously until your first post operative visit, so about one week to 10 days. So I tried to be prepared but did not anticipate the bulkiness of the bra- so buy tops a bit larger than you would. Just a suggestion! Your arms are going to be weak and it will be difficult to lift them up for a time so zip up and button up are the way to go. Just think, another reason to buy some cutesy clothes.
5. Showering - hysterical - make sure you have a sense of humor because it is comedy! But oh how it feels to have hot water run on you even if it is just parts of you. And I never thought I would be so glad to wash my hair! So the trash bag technique worked great for me. Just cut the bottom out, wrap a hand towel around your neck, slip the trash bag over your head and tie around your neck. Voala you can shower. I lean my head forward to wash my hair. Oh and remember the person I mentioned before that can be there to help you, they need to be able to see you naked! At this point the trash man can help me with my shower and I would be fine - just kidding. But really you have to leave your pride at the door and just get through the first week humbly, knowing the next week will be better!
6. Try to stay positive - boy was this so hard for me on Monday and Wednesday. I was really in a mess those two days really didn't think I could do this, mentally I had a hard time. This was a surprise to me so it caught me off guard. I just kept looking for the joy and prayed each day the next day would be better!
7. Do your exercises - after being able to run 6 miles I thought these exercises would be a piece of cake. I felt like I ran a marathon after just doing a few the first couple of days.
8. Have patience - I am not just talking about with recovery but also with your family. They are not at the same place you are, not nearly at the same place and may never be. This is your journey, although your family is a part of it they will never really understand a lot of what you are going through. That is fine. It was hard for me this week to be in my bedroom and life in my house was going on as usual with out me. Listening to everything, the kids stopping in sometimes, Kevin stopping in. This has been hard! You kind of feel like an outsider a little bit. Your attitude is imperative in this, I think! Patience! They will warm up to the fact that you have drains hanging out of your shirt, that you aren't the super person you have been up until this point. At night my girls come in and lay in bed with me and watch TV, I love that.
9. Be honest- with yourself and your family about every, how you are feeling, your needs, your fears EVERYTHING. I have been very open and honest with my girls especially but also with Kevin. Don't feel like you have to protect them, I thought I did but didn't give them enough credit.
10. Have Faith- you will get through this. I am just through my first week and although there were times I just didn't think I would get through it I did. Be glad in the small things and I am sure there are more challenges coming my way but I have to know I will get throu
gh this.

So today I am going to enjoy going outside to take a deep breath of fresh air and a walk. I even put mascara on today, straightened my hair (sort of) and put on my jewelry. I am getting there! Small things, that is what it is about the small things.

I will say that this week I took to just be with my family, no calls or visitors and I think that was a good choice! I really needed time for me to get used to all of this. Thank goodness for my mom, dad and Kevin answering the calls ect. and telling the story over and over again. I am so very grateful for my family, my mom especially as she has just really stepped into doing somethings that I don't think she ever thought she would have to do. I know that Kevin is so thankful for her as well, it helps him to be able to see me as me still and not as what I am going through. He has been there for me every step of the way and I adore him but there are just some things he just is not ready to deal with, and that is so fine with me! I know this is difficult for a marriage and although we have been through the diagnosis and treatment and some lifestyle changes with my MS it is NOTHING like this. I think the main thing is that I learn to accept myself with the changes that are happening to me, that I gain my confidence back as to who I am as a women, wife, and mom. I don't think I can expect much from Kevin or the girls if I don't believe it myself. I have always said the Lord chose my husband 20 years ago and knew he was just the perfect companion, lover and friend for me. I am surely, surely blessed!

Until next time...

2Corinthians 12: 9-10
But he said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Basically that says that I seek Gods pathway and rely on Him instead of my own energy, effort or talent.

With Much Love...
Debbie